Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Morceau de Merde

I've put off posting here lately, not because I lost interest in it, but because I haven't really gone on any adventures or lived through anything I felt was worth sharing. I love writing, as I feel like I can be myself most expressively doing so, but the last almost two years since my last post on here haven't been anything stellar.

The advent of extreme oversharing via social media and stupid contemporary trend fulfillment is alive and well, and I don't feel the need to be a part of it (my mother exclaiming OMG and taking too many unnecessary shitty selfies, my father transitioning from being sickly and hooked up to a blood-sucking machine to being much healthier yet still constantly hooked up to yet another blood-sucking machine {Facebook's Messenger can eat a fat bag of dick}) unless I deem it worthy. My Instagram feed located here on the right is somewhat indicative of what I do these days (buy/sell/trade most anything, craft custom toy cars to ease the depression of my own two real cars being too expensive to do the same with, etc.).

To add to that shitstorm, the extreme shift in life milestones of my peers versus my own doesn't exactly make me feel any better about myself or the path I've been teetering on, so yet another reason I don't post anything about myself that would let on to that. I've never been one to live so competitively/comparatively, but I can't help but notice that I'm accomplishing less and less, and that's the truly saddening part. I feel as all of potential has been bleeding out of me as I fulfill all of the obligations I've been saddled with, and my will to do the best I can do for myself is weakening.

My education/experience doesn't mean anything to employers, my contributions to my family are overlooked and merely expected as opposed to being appreciated. I used to have muses, inspiration, something that would be my incentive to strive, I don't have many (if any) of those nowadays. Let's hope something comes along, soon. The fog is thickening on my vision of positivity, and disheartening as it may sound, but I'd rather be selfish with everything than help anyone anymore, even myself. Even when it comes to my own being. I can only give so much, before it becomes time to take.

Friday, January 03, 2014


A new year is upon us, and although I'm not one to make resolutions on New Year's Day alone, I am doing my best to update here much more often. I had a lot of good photo content leading up to this post, but my phone decided to wipe a good 8 months worth of photos off of my SD card when I was forced to do a factory reset, without the SD card mounted, mind you. Wonderful.

Back to most recently. Didn't have any preferred (read: quality, female, one-on-one) company nor events that I had any desire to be at at home, so my buddy Chris brainstormed that we should get out of town, so as to forego being drearily stuck at our respective houses for NYE. I was with it, so off to crash at my cousin's place in North Park we went. Chris, being an ASU alum, remembered that the Holiday Bowl was also being played at Qualcomm Stadium the same day we were headed down, so we snagged tickets and rolled over to chum it up in the parking lot.
Being that I didn't go to graduate from a big university with an NCAA Division 1 athletic program, I never got to enjoy the festivities that come with that firsthand, but through friends/cousins who did, I definitely got/still get to appreciate such things. I will say though, that tailgating with these fans is always awesome, even the opposing (Texas Tech) fans were still cool as hell. Professional league fans of all sports could stand to learn a little something, instead of incidents like what happened to Bryan Stow
Not pictured here is the dozens of other beers chugged/shotgunned and Chris' brand-new cheapo charcoal grill that ended up getting stolen, we discovered after walking back to the car after the game, lol. 
New Year's Eve started out innocently enough, at a bar a block away from my cousin's place, The Office. Good crowd, drinks were on point and not too expensive, could stand to be a little more breathing room inside though. As you can tell from this picture though, I did not end up at that bar at midnight, more like a strip club with my OTHER cousins (who I didn't know were down in SD) who called me up and invited us to partake of VIP bottle service, a gaggle of girls, and Champagne Room privileges. Needless to say, Chris and I hit the ATM and cab'ed it over. I would've taken more interesting/detailed/dirty pics, but...uh...well.....you catch my drift. If not, too bad! 
Needless to say, good times were had at the strip joint. Getting back to/back into Tracy's place was a different adventure altogether, which involved walking through much perilous fog, stealing other people's cabs (to avoid Lyft's outrageous 200% markup for rides New Year's morning, fuckers!), only to discover that both Tracy and her roommate were passed out wasted, and couldn't hear us banging on the door/windows, nor hear their dogs howling as a result. Even more stupidity ensued when we trealized Chris left his car keys INSIDE Tracy's place, so we couldn't even sleep in the car. FUCK! 

Oh yeah, only semi-relevant to this picture, sorry. Tracy ended up scooping us up from the motel we ended up at New Year's morning and treating us to some much-needed grub. That log in front of Chris was discreetly identified as a "Pig in a Blanket". Great food all around, check out Great Maple when you're in or around Newport/San Diego! 
Also discovered a local dive bar back home in the SCV got to make an appearance on Bar Rescue with John Taffer's stroke-inducing-yelling ass. It wasn't all that bad to begin with, but it's also small as shit. Nonetheless, it does look way nicer, and the windows make it less of a dank cave. R.I.P. The Tailgate, long live The Shot Exchange. Actually, they can change the name back after the show airs, right? I know the name/concept is meant to bring in girls, which is a huge plus, but.....
Numerous noteworthy events/innovations/deaths/occurrences took place in 2013, and this illustration by Beutler Ink mashes a lot of them together pretty awesomely (click on it to get the full size version) 
Of course, had to pay my respects. R.I.P. P-Dubs, please support Paul Walker's Reach Out WordWide if you haven't already done so.
This is my cousin (yeah, I know, I have a lot of cousins, shut up) Randy's wife Alana, and the munchkin she's holding is my niece Aubrey. Until the last few years, I've always been off-put by baby girls because they seem so much more delicate/fussy/high-maintenance (ha! Doesn't change!), but "Aubby", she's everybody's princess and she knows it. 
My dad is infatuated with her. Hell, my mom (who has been divorced from my dad for over 20+ years now and doesn't much interact with my Dad's side of the family minus my cousins, since we all live nearby and hang out) is in love with her. You'd think she was my kid, which scares me even more. I still lack a lot of things to be the man I aspire to be, most of all a lovely woman to enter that venture with, I'm just trying to do me right now. In the meantime, stay little just a little longer for all of us, baby!
And then there's this. Did I regress or something, going from fixing up my 2 real-life cars to hoarding a shitload of toy ones? Yup, sorta. I somehow stupidly convinced myself that this would be a relatively cheap hobby, since the average Hot Wheel is a dollar, right? Then I got into the whole thing of finding packaged versions of the ones I raced/wrecked back in the day as a punk kid, and then found about limited-production-this, special-edition-that, and being a car guy who also knows how lucrative buying/selling/trading stuff like this is from my days as an active sneakerhead (still am, just on a scaled-back basis)....this is just an ever-changing Wall of Fame (or Shame, your choice) that displays the stuff I like the most that I have either just obtained via trade, or just haven't decided to sell or trade again. Current market value of what's there hanging, about $1K or so, no lie. Not that I spent anywhere near that amount. Motherfuck, Brian, a big SMH at yourself (not pictured: the 8 or 9 cases of other shit stashed amongst my shoeboxes!)

When worlds collide. Real-life version of the Hot Wheels Twin Mill II
And a Mattel-owned version of one of the original HW cars from 1965, a VW Bus that was immortalized as the VW Beach Bomb

The Bone Shaker: making rat rods/hot-rodding relevant to kids today.
More on this "customizing" thing later
Why lie, this is the reason I still write these posts, to express my musings about my muse. It's been some time since I took this picture, but my crappy phone camera could never hope to capture the radiant, near-radioactive heat of the moment. That smile and those eyes destroy me every time. I think about the happiest of times I have had with her, and the ensuing shittiness of not having her around like I'd want. She knows this force between us is way unlike anything you can discern in everyday life, but the circumstances of how things are laid out make it that much more heart-wrenching for me, because I can't truly say nor act how I'd actually like to, so I just go with it at the capacity it's at now, just for the sake of having her in my life still. She also likes to keep things shrouded, some of those said things I'm aware of already, some that I'm not. But the risk is part of the deal, and we've both stuck out our necks for it time and again, I just don't want her to blame me should things sour on her end, because I care about her enough to build boundaries so as to not fuck up. Yet.

I'd give anything just to have simple moments with her again, exactly like this one. We would just be browsing through nonsense on the interwebz, giggling, as she lay head in my lap. I always made it a point to try and lavish her, but she wasn't game, or wasn't willing to risk it. I want(ed) so much more, but I didn't push my luck because I knew that not only was I out of my element, I also knew that I wouldn't want to jeopardize the balance of things, precarious as they were. I just enjoyed what I could, and did my damnedest to please her. Can it be that it was all so simple then, word to Wu-Tang. Simplistically complex, as the best things in life always are.

Call me a fool, but I don't find many things in this world that interest/excite me in such a way that doesn't just fade over time; quite the opposite, she intrigues me more and more. It's like a drug: quite possibly bad, but only the user knows the euphoria is worth the risk.

But, still, here I sit. Not knowing what to do about any of this shit. Be good to me, 2014, you bitch.

Monday, December 02, 2013

Understated Understanding

To say that there are a million things on my mind is putting it lightly. But as much as I try to not think about her, and just occupy myself with all these other hobbies/jobs/hustles/distractions, I can't help but think: are you doing the same?

Well, are you?

Got a helluva post to write, bee are bee.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Her-she's Chocolate Sauce

This whole blogging thing feels so foreign to me nowadays, and that's a shame. 

In this age of TMI, social media overload, and Instafuckery, there's lots of actual good information, insight and visual stimulation that gets overlooked and covered up by bullshit.

So why I am I here, considering I have a presence in all the aforementioned BS? Because I still have a lot more to say/show, and no one platform lets me do it, and I own this damn domain and blog, so I'm gonna use it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm getting too old for all this, but I'm not that old, or am I? Hitting 3-0 is not something I've thought about much, but I'm fast approaching it, and fuck if I'm not bewildered by the time that's passed. I feel like, for as much as I think I've accomplished, there's even more shit that I haven't done, or have continually failed to do correctly, and it sucks. Kind of got school checked off, although I may try to go back for my Masters, Still doing car shit, but on my own terms and without input from false idols and backstabbing dumbfucks. Finding a career in this shit SoCal job market/economy.... I'm still relegated to freelancing and keeping up side hustles. Love, ha. Health, I've been lazy this past summer, but I do take a lot more things into consideration nowadays when I'm eating my bomb pizza and wings, like "Maybe I don't necessarily have to eat ALL of it, right now".  Regardless of all of this, I'm doing my damnedest to not let my creative self die.

So yeah, this happened. My trusty daily has seen and been through a lot, but the 110N got the better of her and me a while back
She's still in one piece though.  Hard to think I've been driving this thing for over a decade, but I still find little things to do it, and she still demands respect from an automotive community that preaches JDM/manual/fitment/FR only. I know and respect all of those aspects and it shows in both this and my other bucket. 
Yeah, she still looks a lot like it always has, but a LOT of crap has been changed/replaced/upgraded/modified in the last year. Aesthetically I have really nice wheels for it in my possession, but until I sort out the suspension, then I'll have her looking right. 
And then there's her. I never know just what to say or write about her, as she's as much a point of inspiration for me as I/she are a point of contention with those who know both of us. Fuck it and fuck the detractors though, it is what it is, even if we don't know what to do with it; the most beautiful and desirable things in this life are the ones you can never fully decipher or understand, you just have to see where the ride takes you.
These muhfuckers. T-GO, or a precursor to all things LaWhy. T-GO started simply as a phrase I and my friends John and Danny (the two white guys in the pic) would signal each other as to which girl in our geometry class was wearing a thong, nothing at all, or anything interesting in the back of our geometry class. Crazy to think we thought it'd be so easy to get money, bitches and rule the world when we were all high-schoolers together back before the millennium. Life has definitely thrown us all in different directions, to different parts of the country for a few of us. It's cool to know that we can still get together like this for personal milestones though, and sit around and talk shit to each other just like it was another lunch period back in Valencia (which I will never call Awesometown, that was OUR way of sarcastically calling out the "bro" population)
Still not loving police. Was questioned by staff of the Reagan Presidential Library after they took issue with my outfit, saying it was some sort of militant/radical/protest-y getup. Yee-haw, Murrca! Funny that a predominantly text T-shirt and some camo shorts can get such a reaction. Gives me hope that I can revive LaWhy? as a clothing/graphic line and that the relevancy will still be there.

What's to come from me here? Just gotta wait and see. Crazier things have happened, such as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles becoming popular and relevant to kids for a 3rd time in 25 years, or Hannah Montana coming into her own, twerking and showing side/underboob while riding a wrecking ball in a music video, as so appropriately imagined/illustrated here by PowderAKACaseyJones. So hopefully that means I can continue to bring you awesome shit to read and look at, and maybe expand my audience and get you to buy my shit. Only time will tell.

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Hell Low

It's been a long eff'in time since I've posted on here, but rest assured, LäWhy? is still alive, in some shape and form. Many things have come and gone since my last post, most notably the rise and popularity of Instagram. Also, on the professional side, I've been trying to put in more footnotes/experience on my resume, including another stint with WeSC, but this time on the wholesale side. It's been an interesting experience thus far, seeing and trying to sell a brand this far along in sales/recognition. Life and learning experiences aside, plan to see/hear LäWhy?/GRJMRZ1 any and everywhere soon enough. Until then, like my queen Iggy Azalea, back to work.